L.....Love.......L.......Lost...

Yes.. My love, is lost. The wind, whisper. All I hear,just whisper of her voice. From the text that she's typing. I can't hear anything else. It's happening again. Exactly like this. Left behind. When you spend all of your love to the one you love. It's me. It's just me. I can't fall in love. Not the man for that. I was just thinking, about what I was doing. Those rumours, those lies, keeping flying through her ears. Even I didn't do it. Why is this happening? This time right here, I just can't see anything but this laptop,her. I can't feel my legs. My mind is spinning like hell. Hand shiver, cold. Colder, and colder. Just like before. I just thought it's going to be the end of me. It's not a crap. But it's the truth. I can't stand it. Love is too meaningful to me. And it's hurt when it's end with this kind of way. Why don't you just let me die? And make me feeling the pain of dying? I rather die that way that holding the pain of you taking my love away. I can't hold it. I can't......

L.... Lost.. Love.. Late.. Long.. Low.. Lag... L is XXXX........

ALONE AGAIN

Hello blog. Once again I'm here. Lol. Kinda miss this blog. Well, here I am. Meet you again.

I don't know what to do. Just missing people much. I got home here. In this holly house. With a lady ghost flying around me. But I can't see her. I'm lonely. Right now. My girlfriend is not here for me. All I know, couple has to talk to each other and make things happen. Love, care, anything. Story something about what she did all day. I'm dying to know all that. But, I don't see any. I don't know. Just wonder if she cares. I wish. Seems.... 

Well, I love a picture of us. Here it is. I love this picture so much. We seems happy. I don't think I care much about myself, money or anything. Just her happiness. She's beautiful. And she's the one I want. I just want her to know, she's the only woman that can make my heart felt like a heaven. Dude! She's the best. I can't compare more. Well, I can't barely think of myself. When I see her. Her eyes. One secret about myself, I always peeking on her. Her eyes catches me everytime she came. I'm fainted, but still moving. 

                  God! You're so amazing giving me this angel. Well, It's seems situation makes us fall apart. She knows. Situation sucks! I don't know why something simple is going to be a bad. And keep fighting all the time. And make things complicated. Seriously, I just need her hug right now. Loving her. Gosh! Can't believe I'm saying this in this blog. No one is going read it anyway. So, don't care. MISS HER SO MUCH!!!!

Bored? or it's just me.

Life is fucking complicated. I don't know. but sometimes i felt like killing myself with this fucking life. i never know what's going on right now. spending sometime with some friends,but that sometimes, will never understand me much. Lots of people might think that i'm dumb enough to know about my life. But i know what i'm doing. It's just,sometimes, I just wanna be so care about the person i love. But she won't let me.

Yeah! It's true. I'm bored sometimes. Because everytime i try to be so care,she seems don't care about that. and when i don't, she just slipped away like that i said "you don't care about me anymore. relationship makes me so tired. of thinking,of the time to manage, of the promise that she made, of all the things that i can't do. Money i think. Like I said before, i'm not good enough for her. She needs someone who can really take care of her. I think. Like I didn't. But i did. Fuck the relationship. It's just a piece of relationship that make me so hard to do what i want. Closing to and end. And make me sad at the end. Well, I don't care anymore. Whatever it is. Love is just a feeling. That make you so dumb to follow what it wants. Well, FUCKS THAT!

Not Good Enough :(

Well,it's me. Just me. I don't know what she thought about me. But i think i'm not that good enough. As we know, i can't barely myself to stand on my own. I really can't. Well, this Love that God gave to me, it's heavy, and complicated. I can't think of anything when things like this coming upon me. She just a perfect girl. Yes. I know. No one is perfect. But she's perfect enough for me. Last night, I just can't breath. I was thinking about her all the time. I think I did a lots of things that she want me to. But I just can't figure it out what's on her mind. I can't. I'm a musican, not a magican. Who can figure anything on peoples mind. Not me. Well, I try to make it work no matter what. Just things doesn't come a the way that we had planned. I think she's being miserable with me. I can't do what she wants. Just a simple things, but i can't. I just i thought she could understand that i'm not an angel, who can do anything that God says to them. But i'm just a human being. Got a lots of things that i can't do. That she really hope that i can. I just afford to love her. 

I can't buy her mercedes,Nichi,vincci,crocs, or what ever she wanted. I just got love. For her. But Love can't buy things. You can't buy a Ring with full of diamonds. Luv, you're the best for me. But so much love, makes me be so sure that i'm care enough. I'm not. She didn't say so. She can't see. She can't. Well,what else can i do? what do you really want? Can't you tell me? I'm tired of figuring out what it is. But i'm still trying eventhough I already know that I can't do so. She's the one. The only one. If i'm lying, just kill me when you know it. I can't live when you got hurt so much. It hurts me too. Lot more than you know. The breaking up, I don't know. What if you met someone else? Can i take it? Do you think so? What if I can't? What if I die after that? What if he's not threating you the I do? Are you gonna miss me? What am i? Who am i? I'm invisible. To anyone. No face,no skin,no hearts,no love anymore. When there's no you. It's me.....................