Holiday is going to and end. :)

Just around the corner. It's been bored. But I had a good time here at home.
Seems I didn't use to sit at home so much after studying. Mummy is not very well, but we took care of it. I do feel sad about that. Never thought mummy could be this way. Some say she was with her sickness since 2 years ago. I never knew and I just knew from her friends.

Well, daddy had a problem with financial. I know it all along that my brother can be more than good in anything he do. I was right. Mummy trust him so much. But at the end, this is what happens. I warned them, but they don't listen.

My big brother, he seems to be unstable. He was not really know what he was doing. He should know that he should stick on his work and make some money like any other people. He's an adult. But he can't think of that. Well, he went out everyday just to see that girlfriend of him. But I can see that she's lying about loving my brother. That's sucks. All I can say, they won't last long. :)

About me, I'm just cool. Listen, watch, and learn by myself. They don't know what I suppose to be. But my dad, he knows what I'm capable with. Love you daddy!

The worst feeling ever,

Yes! It is worst. I don't know what to say about making this decision. It's complicated. the promise, the story she told, it breaks my heart at the first time i heard it. But she went back to the past where she not suppose to. I just know, it's for lust, not love. I can see it in that guy eyes. All lies there. When he's don't, he'll leave. And I'll be the one who get her up back on the road. She'll never learn. What she suppose to know is just, it's not that wise to be on the show. She's not suppose to do so. Well, it really hurts me. But i'm so afraid of letting her back to my life. I can't figure what's going on now. She's watching me, but she's with someone else, when I still live in hell. I just need to know, when is my time. Mummy is sick, so do i. I can't stand the pressure makes the tumor grows. I just want to make it happen. But my life, isn't that perfect for her. Yes, i'm not good enough. I'm not what you call a romantic guy who talks like Romeo. No. I'm just me. Elmo. Pampered, childish, and a loser. No matter what I do, I'm still not that good. Well, I just hope she's happy. Even though it's hurt inside here, I just want her smile back. And when my time is come, I would be real. I would be enough. She gave me love, she gave me friendship. Somehow, I can't figure why, I don't have that love anymore, coz I told her, she's the last. And she took the love away from me. And now, it's gone.

The Dreams Never Ends.

7.12 pm. Magrib. I'm about to pray for the next few minutes. This is what God gave me. I see her anywhere, everywhere. I can't stop it. My head is reminding me about her all the time. I can't do nothing about it.

I don't know why, but I lost her few days before. I can see her without my body's shaking. But today, I didn't see her at all. But I saw her in my mind. The moment that we had together, It's spinning around like hell. I try to think about some other things, bt I failed to do so. This is shit. Why I can't forget about her? 

Why she's still running in my mind? why is she there? Why? she's not mind anymore, she abandon me when I need her so much. But I can't keep looking like this. This is hell. Heavens not. 

I'm fucked up today. I don't know what's going on here. I got an exam that i need to cover, I just got 10 ringgit for the whole day. Jamming session tonight. I dun have any money for that crap. And this is what I've been waiting. My parents. I asked them to call, But they don't. Is this care? Is this what they call love? Hell no!!

Fuck!! this is shit! Why am i suppose to hold this shit off me? Why not they care for me, like I did to them? What's fair now? What's the meaning of this? Girlfriend? I do care about you so much. Then you said you need space. I give you space, but you left. Fuck!! what is this? I'm lying? If i lie, I wont see your parents dear. I won't let myself be that shit ex boy of yours doing the same thing. I just act normal. No pretend. I never pretend to be good like hell. This is me. WHy not you understand??

God, I'm broke. I need a ship with tons of money. I need to be rich. And make a fool of poor people who thought that they are fun enough? 

(I don't know what I was saying. I don't think this is what I want. I just need love.. Now it's gone.)

L.....Love.......L.......Lost...

Yes.. My love, is lost. The wind, whisper. All I hear,just whisper of her voice. From the text that she's typing. I can't hear anything else. It's happening again. Exactly like this. Left behind. When you spend all of your love to the one you love. It's me. It's just me. I can't fall in love. Not the man for that. I was just thinking, about what I was doing. Those rumours, those lies, keeping flying through her ears. Even I didn't do it. Why is this happening? This time right here, I just can't see anything but this laptop,her. I can't feel my legs. My mind is spinning like hell. Hand shiver, cold. Colder, and colder. Just like before. I just thought it's going to be the end of me. It's not a crap. But it's the truth. I can't stand it. Love is too meaningful to me. And it's hurt when it's end with this kind of way. Why don't you just let me die? And make me feeling the pain of dying? I rather die that way that holding the pain of you taking my love away. I can't hold it. I can't......

L.... Lost.. Love.. Late.. Long.. Low.. Lag... L is XXXX........

ALONE AGAIN

Hello blog. Once again I'm here. Lol. Kinda miss this blog. Well, here I am. Meet you again.

I don't know what to do. Just missing people much. I got home here. In this holly house. With a lady ghost flying around me. But I can't see her. I'm lonely. Right now. My girlfriend is not here for me. All I know, couple has to talk to each other and make things happen. Love, care, anything. Story something about what she did all day. I'm dying to know all that. But, I don't see any. I don't know. Just wonder if she cares. I wish. Seems.... 

Well, I love a picture of us. Here it is. I love this picture so much. We seems happy. I don't think I care much about myself, money or anything. Just her happiness. She's beautiful. And she's the one I want. I just want her to know, she's the only woman that can make my heart felt like a heaven. Dude! She's the best. I can't compare more. Well, I can't barely think of myself. When I see her. Her eyes. One secret about myself, I always peeking on her. Her eyes catches me everytime she came. I'm fainted, but still moving. 

                  God! You're so amazing giving me this angel. Well, It's seems situation makes us fall apart. She knows. Situation sucks! I don't know why something simple is going to be a bad. And keep fighting all the time. And make things complicated. Seriously, I just need her hug right now. Loving her. Gosh! Can't believe I'm saying this in this blog. No one is going read it anyway. So, don't care. MISS HER SO MUCH!!!!

Bored? or it's just me.

Life is fucking complicated. I don't know. but sometimes i felt like killing myself with this fucking life. i never know what's going on right now. spending sometime with some friends,but that sometimes, will never understand me much. Lots of people might think that i'm dumb enough to know about my life. But i know what i'm doing. It's just,sometimes, I just wanna be so care about the person i love. But she won't let me.

Yeah! It's true. I'm bored sometimes. Because everytime i try to be so care,she seems don't care about that. and when i don't, she just slipped away like that i said "you don't care about me anymore. relationship makes me so tired. of thinking,of the time to manage, of the promise that she made, of all the things that i can't do. Money i think. Like I said before, i'm not good enough for her. She needs someone who can really take care of her. I think. Like I didn't. But i did. Fuck the relationship. It's just a piece of relationship that make me so hard to do what i want. Closing to and end. And make me sad at the end. Well, I don't care anymore. Whatever it is. Love is just a feeling. That make you so dumb to follow what it wants. Well, FUCKS THAT!

Not Good Enough :(

Well,it's me. Just me. I don't know what she thought about me. But i think i'm not that good enough. As we know, i can't barely myself to stand on my own. I really can't. Well, this Love that God gave to me, it's heavy, and complicated. I can't think of anything when things like this coming upon me. She just a perfect girl. Yes. I know. No one is perfect. But she's perfect enough for me. Last night, I just can't breath. I was thinking about her all the time. I think I did a lots of things that she want me to. But I just can't figure it out what's on her mind. I can't. I'm a musican, not a magican. Who can figure anything on peoples mind. Not me. Well, I try to make it work no matter what. Just things doesn't come a the way that we had planned. I think she's being miserable with me. I can't do what she wants. Just a simple things, but i can't. I just i thought she could understand that i'm not an angel, who can do anything that God says to them. But i'm just a human being. Got a lots of things that i can't do. That she really hope that i can. I just afford to love her. 

I can't buy her mercedes,Nichi,vincci,crocs, or what ever she wanted. I just got love. For her. But Love can't buy things. You can't buy a Ring with full of diamonds. Luv, you're the best for me. But so much love, makes me be so sure that i'm care enough. I'm not. She didn't say so. She can't see. She can't. Well,what else can i do? what do you really want? Can't you tell me? I'm tired of figuring out what it is. But i'm still trying eventhough I already know that I can't do so. She's the one. The only one. If i'm lying, just kill me when you know it. I can't live when you got hurt so much. It hurts me too. Lot more than you know. The breaking up, I don't know. What if you met someone else? Can i take it? Do you think so? What if I can't? What if I die after that? What if he's not threating you the I do? Are you gonna miss me? What am i? Who am i? I'm invisible. To anyone. No face,no skin,no hearts,no love anymore. When there's no you. It's me.....................

Valentine's Day I've ever had.

Of course it was on the valentine's day. Honestly, I've never celebrate this day with my ex or anyone. Except for one girl here, and she's my girlfriend now. So, we had this little relationship. Atta has no idea what I was going to give her. What happen is, she gave me a lilttle round dolls, and she call it bushy - bushy! LOL.

Then I gave her my present. I think I shouldn't not mention this here cause, she has it. Well, it's just a gift and I think she's the only person that I've ever give a gift, face to face. She was so blushing and give me a big hug and kisses. We hang out, go here and there. It was cool valentine ever. Thanks to you Miss Xata Xavier! LOL. xoxoxo

Greetings people out there. It's Elmoo here. I'm from Kota Tinggi, Johor , Malaysia.

I'm a student of Faculty of Music in Uitm Shah Alam. Glad to be there, because it's such a lot of work for that. I'm majoring in drum. But I'm not a drummer that follows things around. Just the technique to be applied on drumming, I suppose. I'm a drummer for a band called CLASSMATES.An alternative band. Kind of universal music we play. I like composing. any kind of song. But for now, it is just rock music. That what I am. 

Well, about my life, it's not like person who got rich by their parents. Well, I'm more to being what I want to because, I hate being some else. But sometimes I do. Because it happens to everybody. Like an artist. I guess, people know how's that feel because life is about sacrifice. 

About my personal life, I've been in relationship for a few times. I think about 5. Including now. I hope this one is the last. Because we're in the same world of music. Well, relationship is cool for me. It makes us go stronger, and deep inside, you're giving up, but for your love, anything could happen. Anyway, I'm new here. Hope you guys in the whole world could be the best of you own. PEACE TO THE MUSIC, PEACE TO THE WORLD!